


Hat Fight

by Alisanne



Series: HD365 [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-09
Updated: 2008-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1868292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/pseuds/Alisanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weddings require a fair bit of negotiating on everyone's part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hat Fight

**Title:** Hat Fight  
 **Author:** [](http://alisanne.insanejournal.com/profile)[**alisanne**](http://alisanne.insanejournal.com/)  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Pairing:** Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy  
 **Summary:** Weddings require a fair bit of negotiating on everyone's part.  
 **Word Count:** 1450  
 **Genre:** Humor, romance  
 **Warnings:** None.  
 **A/N:** Written as an extra ficlet in the [](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/hd_365/profile)[**hd_365**](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/hd_365/) universe. This is all the fault of the slashchat girls who encouraged my madness. ;)  
 **Beta:** [](http://sevfan.insanejournal.com/profile)[**sevfan**](http://sevfan.insanejournal.com/). Thanks to [](http://fbowden.insanejournal.com/profile)[](http://fbowden.insanejournal.com/)**fbowden** for providing the British perspective. *smooches*  
 **Disclaimer:** The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

  
~

Hat Fight

~

“What do you think?” Narcissa asked.

“Isn’t this something you should be discussing with your milliner?” Draco said, tilting his head and eyeing her hat.

Narcissa shot an exasperated look at him. “I have, darling, but I thought you would be interested in what I plan to wear to your wedding.”

Draco sighed. “Naturally I’m interested, but you have superb taste, Mother.” _Usually, anyway._ “I’ve faith that whatever you choose to wear will be perfect.”

“That very flattering, Draco, but I don’t want to clash with you and Harry, or with anyone else for that matter.”

Draco narrowed his eyes. “Like whom?”

Narcissa shrugged elegantly. “Well, it would be nice to know what colour Molly is planning on wearing, for example.”

Draco blinked. “How would I know that? She hardly shares such details with me.”

“Surely she’s said something,” Narcissa murmured, adjusting the hat.

“Not to me,” Draco said. He tilted his head the other way. “That’s a very large hat.”

Narcissa smiled. “Isn’t it lovely? Monsieur Poullier said that it’s the largest hat he’s ever made. And aren’t the fairies delightful?”

Draco raised an eyebrow as one of the fairies spun and wriggled its bum in his direction. “Charming,” he replied dryly. “So is this really a plan to keep the attention off the ceremony, Mother? You think that blocking the view of the altar will hide the fact that Harry and I are getting married?”

Narcissa laughed and patted his cheek. “Don’t be silly, of course not! But the mother of the groom does have to look the part.”

“The part of what exactly?”

Narcissa sighed. “It’s all well and good for you,” she sniffed. “All you have to do is show up in your formal robes and people will ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’. They won’t be as forgiving of my outfit. If I wear something they don’t approve of, there will be rumours that I don’t back this marriage and I do, Draco.” Narcissa artfully dabbed at the corner of her eyes with a lace handkerchief.

Despite the fact that he knew he was being manipulated, Draco sighed and leaned in to cautiously hug his mother, taking care to avoid the flying hat fairies. “I know you do,” he said. “Harry does as well. We appreciate all you’ve done for us, in fact.”

Narcissa sighed and laid her head on Draco’s shoulder. Well, as best she could, given the enormous hat on her head. “It would just be _so_ helpful if I could coordinate my outfit with Molly’s,” she murmured. “See if you can find out what she’ll be wearing, all right? And, if you can’t manage that, then perhaps find out who is making her outfit?”

Draco closed his eyes. Why was he even arguing? He’d known she would win this discussion before he’d even known why she had summoned him. “I’ll see what I can find out,” he said. Which proved to be easier said than done.

“Molly’s hat?” Harry narrowed his eyes. “Why? What are you planning?”

“Me?” Draco scowled. “This seems to be a thing between my mother and your...Molly. Mother said something about wanting to coordinate their outfits, so I told her I would ask.”

Harry pondered this. “All right,” he finally said. “Molly has been asking me about Narcissa’s outfit, so I suppose it’s only fair.”

Draco crossed his arms. “She has? Why didn’t you mention this before?”

Harry shrugged. “Because it didn’t seem important. But now that your mother asked as well, it seems it’s some [obscure female ritual](http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1027750/Hats-Ascot-The-wild-wacky-wonderful-outfits-Ladies-Day.html).”

“Maybe we should stay out of it,” Draco said.

Harry grinned. “Too late; I say we tell them who’s making each other’s outfits and leave them to do the rest themselves.”

“Yes, good idea,” Draco agreed. “Now, how about we coordinate our own wardrobe?”

“What’s there to coordinate?” Harry asked, puzzled. “We have our robes.”

Draco pulled him close and nuzzled his neck. “I was hoping to persuade you to forgo underwear at our wedding,” he murmured.

Harry sagged against him. “Why?” he whispered, his breath hitching as Draco latched onto his ear and began to suck the fleshy lobe.

“Easy access,” Draco purred. “That way if we want to duck behind a plant for a quick shag, there won’t be anything in our way.”

Harry tilted his head as if encouraging Draco to continue his exploration of his neck. “Shocking,” he gasped. “Perhaps you could talk me into it with a demonstration.”

Draco smiled. “With pleasure,” he said, and then there was no more talk of milliners or wardrobes for a long time.

~   
A Ministry memo came winging its way through Harry’s door, almost smacking him in the head. “What the--?” Reaching up, he grabbed it and opened it, reading with growing horror. “Fuck.”

Draco’s head snapped up. “What is it?” he asked.

“There’s an altercation at Poullier Milliners. Two witches are hexing each other...” Harry narrowed his eyes. “Why is that name familiar?”

Draco pursed his lips. “It’s familiar to me, too. Why are they sending this to us? Shouldn’t that be a basic Auror unit case?”

Harry shrugged. “All the basic units are out so we’re it,” he said, standing. “Plus, it gets us away from the interminable paperwork.”

Draco nodded and Summoned his Auror robes, which he’d hung on a hook on the wall. “Good point. Let’s go.”

The Apparated and immediately heard shrill screaming.

Draco blinked. “Harry, is that--?”

“Molly?” Harry gaped at the woman who had been his surrogate mother since age eleven, shocked. Molly, her wand in her hand, was shooting hexes at Narcissa Malfoy. Well, it appeared Molly was actually aiming for her head, specifically, the hat on her head.

“You sabotaged my hat!” she was screaming at Narcissa, who, Harry had to admit, was giving as good as she got. When she spotted Harry, however, Molly’s wand wavered, giving Narcissa a chance to launch her own attack.

“ _Protego!”_ Harry put up a shield just in time, nodding at Draco to take care of his mother while he dealt with Molly.

“Molly?” he said, approaching cautiously. “What’s going on?” Behind him, he heard Draco asking Narcissa the same thing in measured tones.

Molly’s chest was heaving, her face beet red. “I caught her trying to extract information from my milliner,” she said, pointing accusingly at Narcissa. “She was going to sabotage my hat. I so wanted to look good for your wedding, Harry.”

Harry sighed. “This was an argument over a hat? But I thought you and Mrs. Malfoy were good friends now?”

Molly looked away. “I thought we were, too. Only friends don’t sabotage friends, do they? Maybe she’s been pretending all along. It’s difficult to give up elitist ideology--”

Harry shook his head. “Molly,” he said firmly. “That’s ridiculous. She saved my life at the final battle against Voldemort! I love her son and I’m about to marry into her family. Do you think I would do that if I thought they really still believed that drivel?”

Molly looked sheepish. “She was trying to spy on me,” she muttered stubbornly.

“Actually, I was trying to coordinate our outfits,” Narcissa corrected. “I thought it would be fun if our hats shared some characteristics and I’d hoped to do it as a surprise.”

Molly looked at Narcissa suspiciously. “Really?” She raised her chin. “Then why were you casting spells on it?”

Narcissa blushed. “Well, my hat has fairies and yours has pixies, so I thought we could coordinate so that they flit from my hat to yours--”

Both Harry and Draco stepped back to a discreet distance to watch the negotiations, and when, after a minute or so, Molly reached out to embrace Narcissa, they both let out relieved breaths.

“I think the situation is secure now, don’t you?” Harry said.

Draco sighed. “I suppose.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

“I saw the last incarnation of my mother’s hat. If she’s planning to have creatures flit from hers to Molly’s, how big do you think they’ll have to be since they’ll be sitting across the aisle from each other?”

Harry blanched, then shrugged. “I have no idea. Um, but do _you_ want to say anything to them?”

“Fuck, no,” Draco muttered. “Let them wear whatever they want I say. I only care about what _you’ll_ be wearing. Speaking of...” Draco checked his pocket watch, “I think it’s time to resume our underwear negotiations, don’t you?”

Harry grinned. “I like the way you think.”

They disappeared, leaving Narcissa and Molly chatting amicably.

~


End file.
